Once upon a time, a fat man was jogging arnd in a park.
Suddeny he saw a board written , Reduce 5, 10, 15 & 20 KGS in just 1 day. Cost = 20$ only.
As soon as he saw a the board he got interested and joined in there.
He opted for the 1st one. Which was 5kgs, to see whether he really reduces weight or not.
As soon as he paid the money, 2 or 3 guards took him to a BIG arena. It was full of Ladders, Gym stuff etc.
A girl entered, she said,' If u catch me, I am urs' and started running all over the place.
Behind her was the fat man. Chasing up and down. Aftr 2 hrs, the guards told him that he had lost and had to go and com bak again. As said, when he went to the weighing machine, he had lost 5Kgs.
The next day he thought, for 5kgs 1 girl, then imagine for 20kgs.It shld b 4 girls.
He went and paid the money for reducing 20kgs. As usual the guards took him to the same BIG arena. The man was waiting.........
Press Ctlr + A to know what happened...
Aftr 5min, the guards told him to open a door. As soon as he opened, there came a Godzilla. It said,' Now, if i catch u, U R MINE!!!!!'
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Fun Messages. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Fun Messages. Tampilkan semua postingan
Rabu, 01 Desember 2010
Perception: Women Vs Mens
Perception: Women Vs Mens (Poor Women always believe their husband blindly with love)
Women Friends chatting in office.Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!
Funny Riddles
Q. If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?
A. A secret.
Q. The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
A. Darkness
Q. What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it? You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A. A telephone book.
Q. What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A. A chalkboard
Q. What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
A. The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won’t happen again until 6009!
Q. What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A. A doughnut.
Q. What has to be broken before it can be used?
A. An egg.
Q. What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
A. Work – Employment
Q. How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
A. Only one, the last one.
Q. What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
A. Your mind.
Q. Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A. A kitchen strainer.
Q. What goes up and never comes down?
A. Your age.
Q. What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
A. To cover cows.
Q. What’s long and thin, covered in skin; red in parts, and put in tarts?
A. Rhubarb.
Q. What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
A. Stockings
Q. What is the moon worth?
A. $1, because it has 4 quarters.
Q. What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
A. A candle.
Q. What stays where it is when it goes off?
A. An alarm clock
Q. You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, ’til you call me again. What am I?
A. An echo
Q. There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who’s in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man’s father is my fathers son. Who’s in the coffin?
A. His son
--
******************************
http://www.venkatmails.
"If U cannot be STAR in the sky,
At least be a LAMP in your HOME." --Swami Vivekananda
------------------------------
You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
------------------------------
A flower that is not the prettiest in the garden may
yet have the loveliest fragrance.
------------------------------
Even when standing in the deepest, darkest valley,
one can still see the stars.
------------------------------
The person who loves you a lot
will always do TWO things EXTREMELY for you
Silently CARING.. & openly HURTING..
to make you PERFECT..
http://www.venkatmails.
******************************
A. A secret.
Q. The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
A. Darkness
Q. What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it? You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A. A telephone book.
Q. What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A. A chalkboard
Q. What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
A. The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won’t happen again until 6009!
Q. What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A. A doughnut.
Q. What has to be broken before it can be used?
A. An egg.
Q. What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
A. Work – Employment
Q. How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
A. Only one, the last one.
Q. What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
A. Your mind.
Q. Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A. A kitchen strainer.
Q. What goes up and never comes down?
A. Your age.
Q. What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
A. To cover cows.
Q. What’s long and thin, covered in skin; red in parts, and put in tarts?
A. Rhubarb.
Q. What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
A. Stockings
Q. What is the moon worth?
A. $1, because it has 4 quarters.
Q. What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
A. A candle.
Q. What stays where it is when it goes off?
A. An alarm clock
Q. You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, ’til you call me again. What am I?
A. An echo
Q. There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who’s in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man’s father is my fathers son. Who’s in the coffin?
A. His son
--
******************************
http://www.venkatmails.
"If U cannot be STAR in the sky,
At least be a LAMP in your HOME." --Swami Vivekananda
------------------------------
You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
------------------------------
A flower that is not the prettiest in the garden may
yet have the loveliest fragrance.
------------------------------
Even when standing in the deepest, darkest valley,
one can still see the stars.
------------------------------
The person who loves you a lot
will always do TWO things EXTREMELY for you
Silently CARING.. & openly HURTING..
to make you PERFECT..
http://www.venkatmails.
******************************
Abilities of a Woman's Luck
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, he would now be the President".
Kamis, 05 Agustus 2010
Check your School/College Photo...
This is brilliant I couldn't believe it, check it out. This Website is amazing. They actually have photographs of almost
every School in the World. Unless you went to School when cameras weren't invented, you will find a photo of yourself or at
least your classmates. Click on the link below or type it into your search line. You have to enter the name of your school and
Year that you were there. Give it a go.....
>
> >
>
> > http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com/wsp/index1.htm
Some Facts about India
Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC.
More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra
13. Chess was invented in India
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition. Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border. Hu Shih (former Chinese ambassador to USA )
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.
BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.
I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA
Say proudly, I AM AN INDIAN.
What do you do all day??
What do you do all day??
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, break fast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys thrown over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and tooth paste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went..
He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'
She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'
'Yes, ' was his incredulous reply.
She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it...'
Send this page to a woman. This is priceless.
Horror at lonavala - Chilling Real story!!!
This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Bombay to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery along the old road. The inevitable happens and when he reached the mountains his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainy. And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by.
Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.
Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town.
He stumbles into a restuarant, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through.
There is dead silence in the restuarant when he stops talking ..... . . . .
......and that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk in. Santa points and says 'Look Banta - that's the idiot who got into our car when we were pushing it.'
Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming. Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.
Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town.
He stumbles into a restuarant, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through.
There is dead silence in the restuarant when he stops talking ..... . . . .
......and that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk in. Santa points and says 'Look Banta - that's the idiot who got into our car when we were pushing it.'
Be careful what you tell a husband who is a programmer
A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping:
Dear, please, go to the nearby grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy a dozen.
OK, hun.
Twenty minutes later the husband comes back bringing 12 loaves of bread.
His wife is flabbergasted:
Dear, why on earth did you buy a dozen loaves of bread?
They had eggs.
--
Sabtu, 24 Juli 2010
A wonderful example of financial management
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT:
A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.
How? The other beggar asked.
First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-,
And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.
A wonderful example of financial management indeed :)
Jumat, 16 Juli 2010
Fun Images
- I am also in Q
- Multi-Tasking
- any difference
- Smile please
- Hello Sir
- Iam hungry
- Don't cry
- Believe me
- Update with Technology
23 Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered!
"Every one is the architect of his own fortune"
1. If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)
2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be give a thought)
3. What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
6. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
7. Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)
8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
9. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
10. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)
14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
15. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
16. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
17. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
18. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
19. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
20. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I don't have a change to try)
21. Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice)
22. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
23. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
1. If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)
2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be give a thought)
3. What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
6. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
7. Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)
8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
9. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
10. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)
14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
15. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
16. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
17. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
18. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
19. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
20. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I don't have a change to try)
21. Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice)
22. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
23. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
THERE IS SOMEBODY UNDER MY BED!
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!
SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS. . GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER. There is always another way to solve a problem. I drink to that.
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you,' I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!
SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS. . GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER. There is always another way to solve a problem. I drink to that.
FunNy LiNeS
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile.. I tried- but they wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without.... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20.. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
Jumat, 09 Juli 2010
Rabu, 07 Juli 2010
Telugu Lolli titles
Upcoming Telugu Block
Busters
1) IT Rajyam!!
2) Offshore lo puli – Onsite lo pilli
3) Intlo baava – Office lo Java,
4) Job vachindhi kaani…..!
5) Fire aina Mogudu – Job vachhina pellam
6) Priyudu nerpina PASCAL,
7) Job ochina kothalo….!
Project dorakani Papa,
9) Company pettalani vundhi..!
10) Iddaru programmerla muddula tester
11) Job-e-naa pranam!,
12)Oracle dada-DBMS!,
13) Toli project…!
14) Yevandi [...]
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