No God Or Know God

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and..... Prof: So you believe in God? Student: Absolutely, sir. Prof: Is God good? Student: Sure. Prof: Is God all-powerful? Student: Yes. Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.) Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good? Student: Yes. Prof: Is Satan good ? Student: No. Prof: Where does Satan come from? Student: From...God.. . Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student: Yes. Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct? Student: Yes. Prof: So who created evil? (Student does not answer. ) Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they? Student: Yes, sir. Prof: So, who created them? ( Student has no answer.) Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God? Student: No, sir. Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God? Student: No, sir. Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter? Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't. Prof: Yet you still believe in Him ? Student: Yes. Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Student: Nothing. I only have my faith. Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has. Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Prof: Yes. Student: And is there such a thing as cold? Prof: Yes. Student: No sir. There isn't. (The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events .) Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, But we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre .) Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness? Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you? Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man? Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how? Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do. Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.) Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar .) Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.) Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room is silent . The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. ) Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son. Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.................. *********

Nice Interview

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admissi! on into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly
speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you w! orked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he h! a ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS .. :-)) We look forward to working with you..:-))

Fun With English Names

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

Caller: Oh God!!
--

How do Sardar transfers files from one System to another System:

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

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Santa and Banta got lost at the mall. So they go to the map, where they see a red arrow that says:

YOU ARE HERE Santa looks at the Banta and exclaims:

"WoW! How do they know that?"
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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

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Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.

One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.

He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.

Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.

A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.

Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are some are not.

Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will take
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Boys Hostel Life

This is a conversation that took place between a hostel boy ( Y ) and a Marketing guy ( X ) :


X: Which shaving cream do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which aftershave do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which deodorant do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which toothpaste do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which shampoo do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which socks do you use?


Y: Baba's


X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international


company???


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Y: No, He is my roommate!!!

Sardar With Lie Detector

Lie Detector

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector.

The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.

The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"All right, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine's silent.

The Sardarji says: "I think.......", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

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The Southern Cross Flight

The ‘Southern Cross’, the first flight across the Pacific (Eightieth Anniversary),

First trans-Pacific flight celebrates its 8o^th anniversary in August 2008.

The Southern Cross inside the Kingsford Smith Memorial, a climate-controlled sealed glass building

Our commercial flight operation is eighty years old.

Smith and Ulm were youngsters from the Imperial Air Force of Australia with un-satiable desire for flying over un-chartered territories; and taking risks was for them a way of life. This mission was not just risk taking; it was history in the making. At present when the age commercial aircraft operations is counted this land-mark flight is taken as the starting point and our commercial flights are eighty years old; as this Southern Cross flight occurred on 1928; crossing the mighty Pacific for the first time in an aircraft; covering a distance of 11588 km!

First lap from Oakland to Hawaii (3ist May 1928)

On 31^st May 1928 they (the four member crew who took part in ‘Southern Cross’ Trans Pacific Flight) took off from Oakland in California and landed in Hawaii after 27hours. This event would have gone un-noticed had it been not the part of a great flight that turned out to be a marking in aviation history. As experienced pilots they knew the risks involved in such a long flight in a single engine aircraft. The team had a purpose too; to study the feasibility of connecting Australia with US by commercial aircrafts.

Second lap; a mission impossible (3^rd June 1928)

These young pilots (Charles Kingsford Smith and Charles Ulm) were from the Imperial Air Force of Australia and crazy for establishing records in flying. This particular mission – a really risky one-they took entirely to satisfy their own thirst for flying through un- chartered territories. The second lap was the most challenging part of the journey flying 7388 miles above the unending vastness of the mighty Pacific; from Hawaii to Suva in Fiji – a journey no one has undertaken so far. Considering the standards of aircraft design and crude technologies prevalent in the flying equipments (the electronic revolution was not born at that time); it was a mission impossible.

The vessel

The Kingsford Smith Memorial, housing the Southern Cross

The vessel that was to take them across the Pacific was a Fokker F VII b-3 monoplane with three engines; which they named ‘The Southern Cross’. It was 14.56 meters in length with a wingspan of 21.71 meters. The aircraft was powered by Wright Whirlwind motors that were 304 horse-powers each and could attain a speed of 208 kph (cruising speed 178 kph). The Fokker F VII b-3 could carry a load around 5300 kilo grams and attain height of about 4400 meters. No doubt it was the ‘most efficient’ aircraft of that time. The Fokker VII b-3 even commanded a market share that exceeded 50% of the whole aircrafts sold at that time.

The crew,

Cowards die many times;

Valiant never taste it but once!

Pilot; Charles Kingsford Smith (popularly called ‘Smithy’) was pilot of the Australian Imperial Air Force. He was born in Brisbane Australia in 1897); who along with Ulm were engaged by the Inter-State Flying Services to see whether Flights between Australia and America could be engaged commercially.

Co pilot; Charles Ulm (1898) was also an Australian (who later met with an air-crash while trying to create a record in flights between America and Australia and disappeared).

Two people also joined them; one Mr. James Warner as a Radio operator and Mr. Harry Lyon as Navigator; both of them were Americans.

The making of an airport

The second lap of the flight was intended to land on Albert Park in Suva the capital of Fiji; at that time there was no airport worth its name a tremendous problem as the field to be used for landing of the aircraft was dotted with banyan trees which stood blocking the landing. Cutting these trees was easier said than done; as sanction for the same was hard to come by as no official was prepared to take that risk.

Robert Farquar and Sir Eyre Hudson

Robert Farquar a radio operator of Suva; who had been communicating with Southern Cross could not ignore the request of the cruising team. His running for sanction for cutting of trees from pillar to post rendered no results and finally he approached Governor Sir Eyre Hudson; the Highest authority of the island. Hudson could understand the significance of the mission he issued immediate sanction for the cutting of the trees and leveling the park. The telephone lines that stood nearby also were transferred to safer location for the landing of the plane that carried along with a piece of history.

The grace of God!

The improvised airport (rather a converted Albert Park) turned out to be center of the whole island and almost all people assembled there to see the most wonderful thing on earth the flying machine! When the aircraft landed in Suva there was thrill as well as some suspense; the aircraft that had no brake ran almost off the ramp and almost collided with the embankment on its eastern side; but nothing untoward happened; by the grace of god!

In Suva

Next day in a welcome ceremony arranged by the island authorities; school children of Suva presented an American Flag made of wild flowers to the crew members. The plane had to fly 30 km to Nasilai Beach near Nakelo to take fuel which was brought in a steamer (HMCS Pioneer). On June 8^th they left Nasilai on way to Brisbane but did not forget to fly over Suva in an attempt to bid farewell to its people who gave them a warm welcome and love!

At Brisbane

The Southern Cross at a RAAF base near Canberra in 1943.

A 15,000 strong crowd was there to welcome the crew and their famous aircraft which they called the ‘Southern Cross’ (Smith affectionately called it ‘Old Bus’). They reached Brisbane nine days after they have left Oakland and flew to Sydney where there was a heroes’ welcome awaiting for them. Smith had taken many more adventures with his flying talent and he was honored with the Harmon National Award for Australia for his achievements. Smith later got killed along with his co pilot in 1935; while trying to create a flight record. As his true partner in most of the adventures Ulm followed the suit and got killed in a crash. Anyway in the 80^thanniversary of that great event let their souls rest in peace and eternal happiness.

Home is the hunter; home from the hills;

And the sailor home from the seas.